One Hour One Life Forums

I think it would work out best the following way.

One setting for people waiting to be born (Born to friends only)
One setting for people playing the game (Give birth to friends first)

That leaves the problem of initial gender. I think keeping gender selecting according to some algorithm is what is best but to make playing with friends more possible, there could be a button "Play as woman" that comes with a cooldown.

or... if gender selection is okay, you could set it up like this

Male
Female (hard mode)

Also, no need to worry about passwords when it comes to friends. If there is a field to add a friend, the friendship is only valid if both people add eachother.