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#1 2018-08-21 01:52:16

Justduh
Member
Registered: 2018-08-21
Posts: 16

The cult of lil pump

Around a month ago,

I was born in a village in a big swamp, it was owned by the flower family, and my mother named me Barbara, my full name was Barbara Flower III.

I had one goal, be the memiest, most cringy being alive. So as soon as I could live on my own I said: "Yeet gucci gang gucci gang yeet boiiiiii" my mother responded by saying "Oh god, where's the knife?"

It started simple, I was simply farming with some yeets and bois every now and then, and as my grandmother, alexander, was dying I roasted her about her being old and someone else actually called her old too and I said: "Roasted!"

As I grew older things seemed to get worse, everyone was finding all the yeets and such funny, so I did it more and eventually I started saying "HAIL LIL PUMP YEET YEET" and then everyone else would be saying the same thing, then the wards arrived. At this point it was just an eve and I yelled "OUTSIDER OUTSIDER!" I tried to convince everyone to kill her so that she wouldn't disrupt anything but luckily she died on her own.

But her kids didn't

But that's important for later, what's important for now is that I came across a baby girl being held by her mother and I told the mother that I will raise, kill, and cook a goose for her to eat and that it MUST be done, the mother agreed that it had to be done so I got that goose and cooked it as fast as I could and gave it to the child, who could eat on her own at this point. As she ate it me and the mother kept saying "Yeet" over and over and when she finished we both said: "Goooooood yeet yeet" and probably over half the town joined in and said yeet with us

After that I was questioning if I was proud if this or not, or if I should be, but shortly after I had a kid,  now I had kids before but none of them were as important as this one, I tried to name him boi but the game named him Bohen. I picked him up and said to everyone that this kid would be important and that he must be protected at all costs.

But then I noticed that there weren't that many people left around, no flowers anyway...there were only wards, one daughter from the eve lived to have three or so kids, her name was Abby. We talked about her and her family worshiping lil pump but she wouldn't listen, she hated me and my families religion, and she had a knife. At one point she called lil pump gay and I yelled "BLASPHEMY!" And ran off to make a bow and arrow, I managed to make it without her finding out and I shot her while yelling "REVELATIONS!" and then we cursed each other.

But there were still her kids to take care of so I took the knife and gave it to Bohen and told him to kill every Ward he could find as they ran off to hide, and I stayed at the town with the bow and arrow. About five or ten minutes later Bohen came back and said all of them were dead, so now me and Bohen were the last two people left in the entire place and I was getting very, very old to the point where I was about to die, so I was going to give the bow and arrow to Bohen and tell him that this place was his now and that he shall live his life in peace.

But in my rush to tell him before I died, I shot him while trying to give him the bow and arrow, and then I died.

So moral of the story is: don't worship lil pump or everyone dies.

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