PRAISE BE THE EGG LORD

Solbusaur · 2018-09-12 21:21:42

http://lineage.onehouronelife.com/serve … id=1064253

I was raised by Tyler, or the Egg Lord, as he and I call him. I was his egg fetcher and plate supplier as he fed the town both his food and his faith: The Egg Cult. I preached about the future of food for him, calling all to follow the path of the Egg Lord and listen to his wise words. My mother disliked this. She had stocked up on mushrooms one time to try and damage me, her own son, so I could not follow the one true faith. A rivalling religion, the stew cult, was led by Hugo. He had once been part of our group of disciples, but betrayed us and became a blaspheming heretic, spouting awful words of its superior capabilities. Luckily for our group, he was ignored. We had already converted the majority of the town, everyone was popping by the shrine to taste the appetising omelettes.
I had earned the Egg Lord's trust, that with his last few dying years, he announced that I was his true heir. I would inherit his title, his place of worship and the rule of the cult. Hugo was disappointed and upset, screaming "No!" over and over. It was what he deserved for his heresy, and he soon starved afterwards. I warned everyone that betrayed our cult would end up like him, starving in hell.
My mother had had enough. Being my mother, she had the power to imprison me in the naughty corner. I told her "I am the egg lord, mother", "Obey me". This only made her more and more furious. The sentence lasted longer and longer, before she said "I'm sorry son, I have to do this".
Whipping out her blade, I was struck in the chest.
"You hag! You have blasphemed! This is heresy! You will painfully starve in hell righteously, and will be cursed for many generations! ..And I? I will be reborn! As the Egg Lord!"
She glared at me as I fell to the ground, cursing her, before I had passed.

So that was my most interesting life I've had yet.

karltown_veteran · 2018-09-12 23:20:48

Such hard-shelled criminals as egg-worshippers will not defeat the warm hallucination cushion of the mushroomers! We will not back down! WE CHALLENGE YOU!!!!

https://imgur.com/a/liWWsxg

Last edited by karltown_veteran (2018-09-12 23:22:03)

karltown_veteran · 2018-09-12 23:23:53

..... TO A DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!

How do we duel?? WHO KNOWS! BUT ONE DAY THE EGGHEADS AND THE SHROOMGODS WILL MEET AND SWORDS (OR KNIVES) WILL CLASH AN THERE WILL BE BLOOD AND WE WILL WINNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dredonkey · 2018-09-12 23:36:52

shroms are gud

MegaLlama · 2018-09-12 23:44:37

Poor, lost children of the Programmer. The Church of the Sacred Code looks upon your deluded cult with pity. We pray that one day, you too, will bask in the Glory of his Code!

karltown_veteran · 2018-09-12 23:48:24

MegaLlama wrote:

Poor, lost children of the Programmer. The Church of the Sacred Code looks upon your deluded cult with pity. We pray that one day, you too, will bask in the Glory of his Code!

Excusez-moi?! Shroomers are not deluded. Jason would not have created the shroom if we were not meant to use it, and bask in its glory. Shrooms are the only eyes we can use to see this fool world as it really is. Enough of that ''sacred'' bull. Who are you to talk about delusion when you yourself are blind? THE SHROOMERS WILL FIGHT YOU BOTH WITH A PASSION AND FURY GIVEN TO US BY THE MIGHT OF JASON!

Edit: Also cults are wins. They are... cult-tured. Cultastic! Cthulhu is worshipped by cultists... you have angered him. Step no further.

Last edited by karltown_veteran (2018-09-12 23:50:05)

MegaLlama · 2018-09-12 23:57:29

Calm thyself, Blood-Drinker! You speak of being the chosen ones, yet you kill each other in a naive attempt to please the Programmer, if he wanted us dead, why did he create us, using his Holy Code?!?

(Does this count as RP?)

karltown_veteran · 2018-09-13 00:01:24

MegaLlama wrote:

Calm thyself, Blood-Drinker! You speak of being the chosen ones, yet you kill each other in a naive attempt to please the Programmer, if he wanted us dead, why did he create us, using his Holy Code?!?
(Does this count as RP?)

Why did he enable stabbing men? To weed out the idiotic ''holy holly jolly fellers of the happy funshine church". He created the shrooms and their effects with his holy code, and yet he did not create the whs. Whs is a foolish attempt of man to go behind the creator's back and spoil his intentions to please their self-righteous ego!

One Hour One Life Forums

#1 2018-09-12 21:21:42

PRAISE BE THE EGG LORD

#2 2018-09-12 23:20:48

Re: PRAISE BE THE EGG LORD

#3 2018-09-12 23:23:53

Re: PRAISE BE THE EGG LORD

#4 2018-09-12 23:36:52

Re: PRAISE BE THE EGG LORD

#5 2018-09-12 23:44:37

Re: PRAISE BE THE EGG LORD

#6 2018-09-12 23:48:24

Re: PRAISE BE THE EGG LORD

#7 2018-09-12 23:57:29

Re: PRAISE BE THE EGG LORD

#8 2018-09-13 00:01:24

Re: PRAISE BE THE EGG LORD

Board footer