a multiplayer game of parenting and civilization building
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best ones: mama asked for leaf, i searched 10 years and lost myself. always build home marker
one day i was born, my mother was busy building a wall, she was picking me up but doing the job, my brother born like 2 min after. my mother had something and died, connection or dunno. i feed my bro carrots he would of died, took it 2 minutes, then asked him to farm. he farmed all his life, supporting all the family. i kept all children was 2 daughter 1 son i think, i was thinking on 4th but my son wanted to keep him. i was in end exploring around bringing stuff back. i liked this one cause the base was very basic and 2 even worse base near, isolated, like 4-5 players can survive. i did made a difference there.
the other day i born back there . in the end me and my small bro survived, i was carrying him showing around feeding carrot at 8 box so after breastfeed ver, he was pretty good, we crafted a few good things.
i still wish to return.
the other base, i was arrived with mom, from forest, we rebuilded it, i geared all my children, teached them things. i reborn as the daughter of my daughter from previous game, they kileld other kid to give me gear. we expanded nicely there too.
getting bored of chaos, big cities big population.
https://onehouronelife.com/forums/viewtopic.php?id=7986 livestock pens 4.0
https://onehouronelife.com/forums/viewtopic.php?id=4411 maxi guide
Playing OHOL optimally is like cosplaying a cactus: stand still and don't waste the water.
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Yeah it becomes really hard to manage big cities with that small vision. When starvation begins, people all die, some leave and come back, then it repeats if nobody is really dedicated to farming.
Last edited by TrustyWay (2018-03-31 12:51:07)
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some cities are interesting. murder city dies all over again when overpopulates. has no easy way to make fire, they cut all trees every direction other had no water. if its something to improve is okay, but some are just massive with no goal.
https://onehouronelife.com/forums/viewtopic.php?id=7986 livestock pens 4.0
https://onehouronelife.com/forums/viewtopic.php?id=4411 maxi guide
Playing OHOL optimally is like cosplaying a cactus: stand still and don't waste the water.
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@pein I think it is actually the right direction for the game to mimic reality. I doubt that towns in the past had goal or purpose, they were just accumulating population and stuff.
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I lived in a village, born as a male and at some point it was just me and one woman left. She got a daughter and I helped dress her, brought her mother food. Nobody spoke, we just worked. it was just two of us after all. Well when the girl grew up and started to speak, she called me dad. Never happend before to me. Being a mother, well the game decides that for you. I was chosen. It felt special.
The three of us had a good time, worked together, complimented each other choice of clothing.
Then I had to leave, for real life reasons, damn! I sad goodbye, she said "but dad!" - the last words I heard her say. i had to leave and died at 50. I wish we could have spend another 10 years together and seeing her grow up a woman and maybe me being grandpa.
Makes me still sad.
Discord: Blue#0794 | EU Server | OHOL Launcher
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I was born a male in a village my name was greg
I hated my mom so i bullied her and all my brothers and sisters. then i wanted to kill mom i shot her. Mwhahaha.
But wait i looked and then i saw my real mom i killed some random girl. then they all hated me. i was chased with bow and Arrow i survived of berry bushes. then i went back to village to see that my brother accidentilay shot another brother so i get the Arrow. and ran away to hide it. they made a new Arrow and chased me. i was chased for 52 years then one of my brothers shot one of the brother chasing me then he ran away to die of starvation. and mom died of a bear.
so i was still alive to help farm. then some random bitch picked up a bow to chase me in my final years i stole a cart of carrots and hide. i died of old age. eating carrots in a bush in my final years.
fuck u mom and fuck u 2 brothers who killed each other. i survived longer then u all mwhahaha
xxx greg
Eve Gluck! We are the great glucks and we will beat every other dynasty!
Best Gluck linage so far: http://lineage.onehouronelife.com/serve … id=4082492
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I was born a male in a village my name was greg
I hated my mom so i bullied her and all my brothers and sisters. then i wanted to kill mom i shot her. Mwhahaha.
But wait i looked and then i saw my real mom i killed some random girl. then they all hated me. i was chased with bow and Arrow i survived of berry bushes. then i went back to village to see that my brother accidentilay shot another brother so i get the Arrow. and ran away to hide it. they made a new Arrow and chased me. i was chased for 52 years then one of my brothers shot one of the brother chasing me then he ran away to die of starvation. and mom died of a bear.
so i was still alive to help farm. then some random bitch picked up a bow to chase me in my final years i stole a cart of carrots and hide. i died of old age. eating carrots in a bush in my final years.
fuck u mom and fuck u 2 brothers who killed each other. i survived longer then u all mwhahaha
xxx greg
Hi Greg. I was your mother. I gave you much love, even when I saw that you were evil. I am so sorry you grew up to cause chaos in our village. It was a lovely place. I don't know why you are this way. I can only hope you learn and grow out of it some day. I thought you would probably kill me eventually. But I ended up being killed by a bear instead. Oh well.
~much love and sadness,
your nameless mother
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Aname wrote:I was born a male in a village my name was greg
I hated my mom so i bullied her and all my brothers and sisters. then i wanted to kill mom i shot her. Mwhahaha.
But wait i looked and then i saw my real mom i killed some random girl. then they all hated me. i was chased with bow and Arrow i survived of berry bushes. then i went back to village to see that my brother accidentilay shot another brother so i get the Arrow. and ran away to hide it. they made a new Arrow and chased me. i was chased for 52 years then one of my brothers shot one of the brother chasing me then he ran away to die of starvation. and mom died of a bear.
so i was still alive to help farm. then some random bitch picked up a bow to chase me in my final years i stole a cart of carrots and hide. i died of old age. eating carrots in a bush in my final years.
fuck u mom and fuck u 2 brothers who killed each other. i survived longer then u all mwhahaha
xxx greg
Hi Greg. I was your mother. I gave you much love, even when I saw that you were evil. I am so sorry you grew up to cause chaos in our village. It was a lovely place. I don't know why you are this way. I can only hope you learn and grow out of it some day. I thought you would probably kill me eventually. But I ended up being killed by a bear instead. Oh well.
~much love and sadness,
your nameless mother
well our family survived idk for how long tho because i didnt kill anyone just that mom lookalike
Eve Gluck! We are the great glucks and we will beat every other dynasty!
Best Gluck linage so far: http://lineage.onehouronelife.com/serve … id=4082492
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This is more bittersweet than a favourite, but thank you Nona and Dove, for taking me in.
As soon as I was born, my mother started to explain to me that their village failed because there was no more water, and no natural sources close. Then she took me down to a new farm where my brother and sister were living.
I was named Ghada Aeschlimann.
When my mother was getting old, she tried to give me her backpack with her knife in it and asked me to keep it safe, but before I could pick it up, my sister had taken it. I thought that was a bit rude, and naively thought she only wanted the backpack because she didn't have one either. But then she pulled out the knife and killed my brother, then came after me.
I grabbed a basket of pies and ran.
I remembered seeing a larger settlement north so I decided to go there and tell my story, also warn them that it is possible she might come this way. I met two lovely women, Dove and Nona. They decided to help me avenge my family and we all grabbed weapons. I tried to show them where my camp was but I lost them, I got back to my old camp and the farm was already ruined.
I ran back to the new camp to see if Dove and Nona came back, and then my heart stopped. I saw my sister in the camp with her knife out covered in blood. She had found the camp and started murdering everyone that was there. I chased her out with a bow, I'm a terrible shot and I eventually got a shot off but I missed and lost the arrow. She then started to chase me around. I ran in long circles before running back to camp. I had found another arrow just as I saw her murder Dove. I chased up as she slowly ran away, trying to shoot her but failing spectacularly. I eventually got her, but the damage had been done. The only survivor as far as I could tell was an old man tending the crops.
It really sucked that this camped had suffered like this, with no women or children to keep it going. But then something good happened, Nona returned. I was glad to see she had survived, she said she was off somewhere else. She was lucky, but unfortunately she was too old to have any more children. I apologised a lot, we commiserated about what had happened here, I was very upset. I don't understand why someone would do this. She gave me her knife and told me I had earned it.
Another woman appeared on a horse with a cart telling us of a large village North/North-east that had plenty of people. Nona had decided she wanted to see it before she died. The old man was too old and wanted to die where he was born, so we said goodbye to him and traveled to this village together. We finally got there and it was very nice, probably the nicest and most organised village I have ever seen. Nona said hello to the residents and told them she came to die there. I was glad she got there to see the place before dying.
I decided to stick around and help out a little, watering bushes and tidying up a bit. I saw a lady asking for a knife, I had seen her tending to the sheep so I lent it to her. She seemed nice so I told her to keep it. I wandered around a bit more helping out where I could before giving a baby my clothes and dying.
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I told everyone the carrots had brain worms in them and that the only way to survive was to throw all the carrots away and starve. Kept raving about it like a madman.
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I was a boy named Adam Farmer
I had a previous live there as luke and i had a crown and i got murdered. and the murderers where still running around.
when i grew up to be 14 the killer almost killed everyone. except me and my sister. i ran with my sis up north where there was a little farm that i knew of i farmed there to save my sister from dying. i ate berries and she got all the carrots because she had to survive. she was new to the game so i tried to teach er somethings. then i scouted our old camp if the murderer was gone and he was gone. so i went back to get my sister. we went south again to our old camp.
i gave her my clothes helped ur with her kids because she didnt really feed them that good. but then when she saw her first child walk and help the farm she was proud. and she thanked me that i helped her suvived she told her kids that i helped her to survive is saved her live.
but then i heard that she died of starvation. i was sad but i had to move on to help her kids. we where short on food so i put all my carrots that i had in my backpack in the baskets for the kids so they survived. then we had an explosion of food so we where good for a long time. then when i got older everyone loved me for being kind and that i helped them survive.
i was happy when i even got hugs from the children. i felt happy in my final moments.
i had my goodbyes and then i died of old age. i was going back to my sister.
Adam Farmer The family man
Eve Gluck! We are the great glucks and we will beat every other dynasty!
Best Gluck linage so far: http://lineage.onehouronelife.com/serve … id=4082492
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I was a boy, my mother named me Mercury.
I was farming all my life, then met a slightly younger girl, named Lisa. I've made her clothes and though she wasn't related to me, I treated her like my little sister. I was so proud when she asked me how to farm. I taught her everything I knew. Then she had kids, I was running around the town to find some clothes for them, tried to help her with feeding all the children and when they were old enough, I started teaching them just like I taught their mother.
Suddenly some guy from other town came and asked if any female can join them to repopulate their place. Lisa agreed to help them. That was a sad moment, but I knew it was an act of kindness. So I took care of her children and keep teaching them.
The guy from the other town returned to announce that Lisa was too old to born any more kids. I said "too bad" to express my empathy, but I think he didn't understood me properly. He took a knife and killed me with anger. I was 47.
Actually this was the only one moment, when I wasn't angry when I was killed, because that guy actually has a motive. I could feel he was angry, all his work was going to be wasted. He wasn't a bored kid who suddenly kills half of the town without particular reason. And it was a great story - a nice guy, spending his life to help others, ends up being murdered.
I hope he didn't hurt any other people though. I wonder what happened to Alyssa, Lisa's daughter and our only female. I think she could be kidnapped. I just hope she was able to live to the old age.
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I haven't lived many lives where I've died of old age, so those are always memorable.
My most recent 60-minute life: I was born on to a small farming settlement. My family had been there for two or three generations already, but it was clear that the founding Eve had stumbled upon this place by accident and didn't really know what she was doing. It was pretty disorganized. I had a few older male cousins who could hunt and build, but they were neglecting the farm. I spent my childhood tending the fire, teaching my cousins to make water pouches, and getting pie production up and running. When I started having children I gave them each a job, in order to make sure everything got done. Almost all of them were hard workers who made me proud. I had some daughters who were good hunters, and they killed many of the bears lurking in the woods around us.
One day I noticed that there were waaay too many naked little kids running around, so I went to check the milkweed patch. Some fool had picked all of it and didn't save the seeds! Even though I was now getting pretty old, I knew what had to be done. I took some pies and a cart, and set off to look for milkweed seeds. I was gone for years. I trekked across the barren tundra, braved the scorching desert, and was nearly eaten by wild animals dozens of times. But I finally found what I was looking for, plus some useful tools that I scavenged from dead settlements. I finally returned home as an old woman, directed my children to plant the precious seeds, and pick them only when fruiting. I passed my mother's knife on to my oldest granddaughter, so that she could protect what we had built from griefers. I spent my last years eating pie and imparting wisdom to my great-grandson near the fire. My last words were "grandma loves you" :')
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Yesterday I was born as my own granddaughter.
I found an abandonded village. Had 4 or 5 children. We managed to make the village live again.
The village was lacking wheat source so I focused on building wheat farm. I died of old age aftrer spending whole life there working hard and hoping next generations will thrive. Usually this is an end of a story.
But not this time - I was reborn in same place as my own granddaughter. It was amazing to be able to again to contribute to same community. I could develop the wheat farm even more and start cooking pies. And again I died of old age.
Two lifes spent in one place, seeing as it is developing. Quite uniqe experience.
Unfortunatelly, next time I reborn, it was some new place, new story.
Maybe it could be a feature, that if you spand one, whole life in one place, you would be reborn there, to continue your work.
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I guess this isn't much of a specific moment but I just wanted to gush a little bit about the warm fuzzies I get from this game.
I'm fairly new to it, it's been about a week or so, and throughout the community I see post after post after post about people griefing, murdering, how it's ruining the game, which is understandable.
In the time I've been playing, yeah I've been murdered a few times here and there but it's never really been so common that it's a game breaking problem for me, so I just want to say that speaking from my own experience:
I've seen much more positivity and mutual respect throughout most of my runs (excluding the unfortunate few where you're abandoned at birth obv). I see mothers and their babies telling each other 'I love you' all the time, people gathering to bid farewell to hardworking elders finally retiring, towns taking in cold, lost Eves and sharing their wealth. Call me corny, but I find a dialogue like that in an anonymous multiplayer game incredibly endearing. I come from big title first person shooters where it seems like the only thing people have to say to each other is negative, mean spirited shit, so interacting like that with my virtual family, seeing people work their asses off for people that haven't been born yet and literally giving others the clothes off their back is just... it's a breath of fresh air.
And just to add to that, I love this thread a lot too, it's so great seeing people write out their unique stories, kind of letting that creativity fill in the small gaps along the way. I'm really glad to see that I'm not the only the only weenie here that gets emotionally invested in their runs lol
I also really love the naming system now, it only makes that immersion all the better, and I'm so excited to see the family trees grow over time.
Anyways I'm gonna shut up and go eat a flower now lol
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Raised by a good mother, I was starting to make my contributions to the village when I saw three of the older villagers gathered together with bows and arrows. I only caught the tail end of their conversation as the crowned elder said, "I'll back you up," and they charged off to the East. It was a bear! The queen fell first. Having no weapon, I launched myself at the bear, selflessly to perhaps sate its hunger and buy some time for the other hunters. Age 11, Killed by a hungry bear.
Because it was time to go downstairs and watch TV.
"The world is only this way because we made it so in our ignorance." -Uncle Gus
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One time there was an guy named Jacob. jacob lived in a messy village.
Jacob had a religion. something he believed in. It was the god himself DIE. DIE is a god that is turning insane when there is a messy village so Always have a clean village maybe DIE will visit youre village one time.
So one time When Jacob grew bigger he started to kill someone. people didnt like that but he said. He was making a mess so i needed to end him. people started chasing him. he went to a bush to prey to the lord DIE. He then returned and killed a guard. and he ran away. Then a little kid came to Jacob.
He said I am Die. Jacob was schocked. His lord His god right in front of him. They agreed to kill the villagers together. The city was too messy so DIE the god had to clean it up and jacob helped him.
When everyone died. They made signs out of their bones spelled DIE. Die was busy making more signs Jacob didnt see die in a long time. then a lady on a horse came and said to jacob. You Ugly bastard you destroyed the village! she jumped of her horse and she tried to run to a knife. But Jacob was faster and got the knife and stabbed the woman.
The horse ran away. But the horse came back. Jacob thought What another intruder. so he didnt hestitate and killed the guy on the horse. But that day Jacob made his biggest Mistake. It wasnt an intruder It was The god DIE. Jacob stood there and saw how he killed him. He got cursed and now he was a servant of DIES cult. He dropped the knife went on the horse and ran to the horzizon to spread the religion of DIE. His curse was that he never ever could stop running.
Some people still hear Jacob running in the wood screaming That they have to believe in DIE the god.
But thats just a Myth or not or maybe its true but idk.
Last edited by Aname (2018-04-02 19:04:31)
Eve Gluck! We are the great glucks and we will beat every other dynasty!
Best Gluck linage so far: http://lineage.onehouronelife.com/serve … id=4082492
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I was born to a lone Eve in the dust of a very early and badly established settlement. (no water source except one quite a walk away, also no rabbits or furs just a few already made bowls) She was aparently a noob. I actually showed her how to make fire the first thing when i could walk. We squeezed a single harvest out of the ground once the many Berry Bushes where emptying. Then I said, listen mom we need to move we will not make it here. We managed to find a better place a short walk south and started bringing our tools and stuff down when mom found a full blown town close bye, people and everything. We joined the Tribe and worked, I lost sight of mom, until she came back a wrinkly old woman. Thanked me for saving her life. I told her that we had done well. IT became clear that she was unaware that you would die at 60 Years of age, and I was just about to explain when she died.
This game can sometimes really give you the feels.
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I was born a boy in a busy village.
My uncle was trying to get someone to go with him. His name was Z... something.
I followed him a long way to a beautiful town that was abandoned. It had everything including like 4 or 5 carts of pie, wheat, berry, milkweed, and carrot farms. Even a few penned sheep and carts full of clothes. It was glorious.
I got straight to work on the farm, mixing compost and watering a few plots, replacing a few dead berry bushes. We tried to recruit a lady to continue on the town, but had no luck... I think they distrusted us for our sexy moustaches.
A pie toting gentleman joined us. Telling the tale of woe. He had been cast out of his village for wishing for nothing more than to be a pie baker. His mom did not think this manly enough so he set off with his cart of pies seeking friends and adventure.
The three of us puttered about for a bit making the place nice for whoever came next. "One day we will go to the moon" I declared as my uncle aged and prepared to leave our beautiful world.
Alone I ran for years trying in vain to find an Eve. Finding only one who was frozen/glitched.
I returned home to spend my dotage surrounded by familiar places only to discover that a nice young couple had moved in. I wished them luck in Utopia.
I must have gone a bit mad from the loneliness. When I had bare minutes left to me, I piled my clothes by the farm carts near the cemetery (where I had originally found them) and ran around the carrot fields naked as the day I was born yelling "Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!" as a confused young lady looked on.
(I just remembered another funny)
I was born a boy in a large village. Everyone kept picking the carrots, there were no seeds.
I stood over the last patch and kept saying "Seeds" "don't pick" over and over. Then once, feeling silly added "I am a sign" "don't pick" "seeds"
Another player came over and said "one hundred percent" "organic sign"
I lolled.
My seed protecting was ineffective though, I had to abandon it out of rage/frustration and wandered off in search of wild carrot seeds instead. I returned with a bunch of seeds to find another had taken over sign duty and was having an equally frustrating time... I handed him a bow and arrow I had stumbled upon... he was a much more effective sign after that. lol
Last edited by teanah (2018-04-03 03:04:19)
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I was born by the fire, my mother giving me clothes. A rich village I thought.
I was destined for great things, as there were many farmers, pie makers, and not enough blacksmiths. When I was older, I crafted my first knife, to keep out the crazies.
I grew up peacefully, alongside my wonderful older sister. You could say she ran the village.
When I was old enough to carry a cart, I was bored. I had an intense flame of ruling the village alongside my sister.
I got a clay bowl, pickaxe that I made, and 2 baskets of my sisters piety to go find gold. I walked for 5 minutes, avoiding hard to see rattlesnakes and wolves. The snow biome I found had gold! I got the flakes and went back to my village, making a crown blank. My sister was proud.
I had to get a wolf skin, so I made an arrow and bow, and went back to a wolf infested area. I killed it quickly, and with the smithing hammer in my backpack, forged a new crown.
My sister was proud, but old, and I knew her time was coming. I was sad to see her go, but I was old too, and needed an heir. I gave it to my youngest adult nephew. He wore it like a wolf, I hope it’s been passed on.
I died peacefully, with no succession crisis or anything. I knew the wolve’s blood would eventually pass on farther down. I hope they kept the next king by the fire.
Ethical Killing
One Step One Life
One At A Time
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Favourite moment so far was when my mama named me Arya Stark and my sister Sansa. Of course I died of starvation in childhood so didn’t get to live up to my name... still happy!
Also had a lot of fun last night running north from a knife-wielding maniac who was attacking our hamlet, with my three infant sons. Was incredibly stressful running from her, bears, and trying to find enough food in the wild to keep us all alive. Then my milk ran out and my youngest had to be fed by hand! We couldn’t find a new settlement so eventually decided to turn back, and then I got eaten by a bear. Hope at least one of you survived!
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I was born in a village where ma warned me about the men. I grew up to have babies of my own, and one of my babies kept asking for a knife or a bow and arrow. Ma told me to keep an eye on this one and to not let any of the men have weapons, so I told my son to listen to Grandma and focus on something else.
Later, my son came to me and asked me for a bow & arrow so he could fight off a bear. I asked him to lead me to the bear and he disappeared. When he returned, he was holding a bow & arrow, and had just one word to say to me: "Mom."
The next thing I know, everything is fading to black with the words "Killed by bow & arrow"...
Did my other children make it, or did brother kill them all? I'll never know.
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i had many runs today and liked it mostly
once i was in avillage with many fence kits which werent placed, were like 6 sheeps but someone opened the fence and they ran out the last 3 was killed
spent half of my life getting geared up then at old age i went with a knife and a rope and got a sheep back, i lost the horse tho, at 10 bars i went up to get back the knife, i think was the correct decision, even killed a bear
the other run i was in a village where it was an empty fence, i saved people by running from bear and enclosing it, told the girl who used the horse not to park there the bear can get out, i was busy at 45 age making a new fence for the horse, as we had none and or the bear or the sheep gets out, i got my straight branch, ran back, and as i was picking up the sharp stone to make stakes, a girl stole it, i ran after, they just parked the horse near the fence and the bear got out, i was typing a message, and got killed by bear, we had bows but not many arrows, maybe one, i should of killed the bear
spawned back two times later but didnt wanted that map
last i was spawning in a baby factory we were standing like 5 babies in fire, some of them got gear, most of us none. was worst run today, i was naked till adulthood. we had only like 16 milkweed fresh harvested when i born. too many ropes made. we had two horses one saddle, one horse wasnt moved at all . a lady made a fence in the steppes, making it easy seed runs. i made myself a snakeskin shoe and a wool booty, rest naked. later i was getting an old pals seal skin and blue cap. gave it all to a kid, spwaned back, never found those items. another blue cap kid was griefing, killed the old lady with the horse and tiara, lost the horse. we lost a shovel and a knife too. next up i was a girl, making like 3 kids, they all survived, i dont remember much that run. next up i born as a daughter of other girl my mom old daughter was still there. we had many kids that run too. made to full gear again while barely anyone had gear. we had many famines due to lack of seed, brought back 14 with a cart and lots of soil too. at old age i died in desert triing to bring back cactus. later a girl born me in steppes and i was following back, stopped 3 times for milk. she called me scout, was from random word as she typed something "sadadsa" or so. she saved the village just as me before, with seeds. by that time we had lots of compost and berries but barely any milkweed and tools were missing the run before. at age 8 i headed to the dessert and found all my items from other run, i was fully geared at 8 bar! i gave life to 7 kids, kept 3. last died cause i had no milk, i tried that one. as i changed to adult, 16 age i born two ery fast, the second wasnt communicative, one more ran after i said sorry. a bear attack wiped out the city i gave birth to second daughter who was killedby bear before, she typed in one by one. only reason i kept. others made plenty babies and kinda destoyed berry farm. a guy was in good gear he knew where is the shovel, gave me a knife, he had two. showed my daughters how to compost, how to feed sheep and how to kill sheep to make cooked muflon, keep one with fur, feed baby keep their count on 7 at least. at 4th run was looking much better i made a well, brought lot of soil, we could afford to use berries to feed sheep, plenty of compost, when they made too many babies the famine wiped all out, we were making pies but not many snares not many backpacks, partially wool clothing but mostly nakeds. was nice to meet some people again and get back the tools. no tiara, horse or snake shoe do. met a guy who was naked in forest, told me there is village south, might have been far. he was running with full cart of pies later, my screen bugged, seen it run across 10x, might have stolen from us, unmade pies. loved that city, if anyone remembers it drop a message.
https://onehouronelife.com/forums/viewtopic.php?id=7986 livestock pens 4.0
https://onehouronelife.com/forums/viewtopic.php?id=4411 maxi guide
Playing OHOL optimally is like cosplaying a cactus: stand still and don't waste the water.
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I was a balding old man tending the carrot farm, my family and I avoided the bear for many years while I screamed at it to leave. The fact most of us were still alive was comforting however. “The bear is our pet now,” I said. Then the bear ate me.
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