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Behold, the symbol of the Great Northern Bear!

That is the Great Northern Bear to you.

And yeah I was like... the bear is a symbol for Russia... Russia is very far north... Great Northern Bear!

The mighty minion of the Great Northern Bear listing to PLANTS? Ahahaha what a funny joke. What is that? You were serious? Let me laugh even louder at your ridiculous ideas. Ahem.... AHAHAHAHAHA!

The minions of the Great Northern Bear may indeed be dumb, but they are to be feared, unlike your puny cactus god that does nothing other than occansionly bare fruit.

But the soul of the Great Northern Bear will give you strength! Feed upon the heart of a bear and the Great Northern Bear will give his blessing!

I registered to the forum to tell my tale. I'm a new player who knows nothing except for the youtube videos I watched... and even then I never really soaked in the recipes.

So I died a few times... got abandoned a few times... starved to death some more... But I made it to 60 years once. And this is my story of my full life.

I was born a girl to a woman simply named Stalin. We didn't have last names in our village... and me no name at all. Stalin was a horrible neglectful mother. She set me by the village fire and never so much as fed me. My aunt raised me... which I unfortunately don't remember her name. She was a much better mom than my mom.

As I got older I did the only thing I knew how to do. Plant carrots and put them in baskets. That was my entire life. It was a simple life... but that's not what made it interesting. Eventually I got to the childbearing age. I went on to raise 7 children... and one as far as I know died an early death. The little brat didn't tell me he was starving. Anyways, my children's names were Sebastian, Lina, Reina, and Kid (Kidus) 1 through 4. I got lazy with my names ok? Atleast the little turds had names. My mother never gave me one. And Kid the third was the one who starved to death. In any case I made sure to instill our village values into them: "The top row is for seeds."

Sebastian never really talked much, but Reina and Lina argued all the time. One kept going on about her evil sister who stole her hat. Honestly, I don't remember which was which. They were just two bratty children in my eyes. They should be happy they even have clothes. I was naked my whole life. Real women don't need clothes.

Still as the years went on I eventually became a grandma... Honestly I don't remember my grandkids very much, but I always reminded them, "The top row is for seeds." I once promised them I would spoil them if I didn't forget about them. I did forget about them. And all that time... Reina and Lina would still go on and on about that stupid hat. Such bratty kids they were, even as adults.

Ah, once me and my cousin sent a child off to get water, we didn't expect her to actually return. And... I don't think I ever seen her again after that. No matter really.

So... soon my life came to an end... and I regretted my family. Sebastian never spoke with me, Lina and Reina continued to bicker. They even called me old, or mockingly said I looked 18. The turds. And the surviving Kids never named their kids. They were so much like my late mother, neglectful terrible mothers. So I planned to set off on a journey. To see the lands beyond our little carrot farm and die alone away from this terrible family of mine. I said my final words....

"I regret this family. I'm going to go away soon. Goodbye. And don't forget, the top row is for seeds. You horrible people."

And just then I died, never to get to set off on my journey... surrounded by my bratty children.